The period of time between Halloween and New Year’s Day is supposed to be filled with love, candy cane dreams and twinkling holiday lights. Because of this, for many, it is their favorite time of year. Yet, for some it is also a very difficult time of year, often the hardest period throughout the year.
As written in this blog post, the holiday season also coincides with the winter season. For many, people experience increased depression during the winter months. So, some people struggle with the holidays because they feel “blah” during the winter months in general. However, that is not the case for everyone. For people that enjoy the holiday season, all of the movies, commercials, songs and activities can lift their mood and have decreased depression during this time. For others, the holidays can cause people to isolate or experience increased depressive feelings.
Here are some areas to be aware of and tips to help decrease depression during the holidays:
1. The holiday season can remind us of those we have lost. It is super common to have wonderful holiday memories, but they are intertwined with loved ones that we have lost and still miss very much. This can make it difficult to think of past years or holiday activities with happiness. This results often in people trying to push those memories down resulting in feeling empty, lonely or isolated.
Instead of trying to avoid those feelings, pay tribute to those loved ones you have lost. They are important to you and deserve to be remembered. However, that doesn’t mean you have to remain in the past. Take some time to reflect on those wonderful holiday moments and grieve that they aren’t hear with you. Then, call a close friend or loved one and make plans to socialize. Refocus on the good parts of your life in the present and enjoying time with those who care about you.
2. Sometimes the holidays can make us feel more isolated. Between the holiday movies and commercials that spark the feeling that everyone has someone, some of us can feel left out. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
So, during this time, reach out to friends and those you feel close to. Everyone assumes that others have plans and they are “the only one”, but that often isn’t the case. This results in no one reaching out and lots of individuals feeling “alone”. There are lots of reasons why people may not have plans for the holiday and either haven’t mentioned it or we don’t know their full situation. Some common examples are: family/friends out of town, family issues, conflicting work schedules, financial concerns and worries about gift giving or “what to bring”. These can cause people to shy away from their traditional activities and look for other ideas on how to spend the holidays. You reaching out with a suggestion may be the perfect answer!
Don’t forget about the days from Halloween to New Year’s Day besides the actual holidays. We get so focused on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve/Day and New Year’s Eve/Day that we forget that there is a lot more days to socialize with friends besides those few days. So, make plans in advance! Don’t be afraid to find winter, holiday or even non-holiday activities for week days or weekend activities to get out and have fun. It will make you feel more connected and less isolated.
3. Some people dread the holidays because of family drama. Sometimes you may love the holidays and you may love your family, but combining the two can get messy. In these cases, people often plan to “just make it through”, rather than making alternate plans. So, if this is your plan, be realistic with what you do and do not want to participate in and it’s ok to not attend everything. It is also ok to plan ahead with self-care activities that will make things more enjoyable. Things like regular exercise, drinking enough water and eating more than Christmas cookies and protein bars can help you feel healthy and whole. Also, take time out for yourself by scheduling little things that you enjoy such as reading, a warm bath, watching a movie or sitting in a quiet, calming space. Decreasing social media during this time can also help with self-care. If you scheduled your self-care activities in advance, they are pre-planned and can help you navigate the stress and holiday blues that often attack when feeling overwhelmed by expectations. It is also much more likely that you won’t find a reason to not do them!
When and How to Get Help
If you notice that your depressive symptoms are getting stronger, seem to be more than “just the holiday season” or seem to last longer expected, this could indicate that counseling for depression may be needed.
If you or someone you love is having significant depressive symptoms or thinking often about death or suicide:
988 is the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can call or text this number anytime 24/7. Services are available in English and Spanish.
Text HOME to 741741. This is a confidential crisis text line for anyone in the United States available 24/7.
Go to the nearest Emergency Room or call 911 for immediate in person assistance.
If you are interested in seeing a depression therapist or would like to schedule a consultation or make an appointment, call or contact me.